Sugar & Spice, Frogs & Snails
by Compelled
Summary: Children are often more trouble than they seem worth... future implied pairs, Friendship!, KIDS
1. Prolouge

"Boy, get your butt outta the car!" Reno tried to keep his voice calm, gritting his teeth and reaching for his six year old pressed against the floor of the car, shoved a bit under the seat.

"Nuh uh! I don' wanna go!" He slammed a small fist on the floor, glaring hard at his Dad.

"You have 'till the counta three, 'fore I pull your butt out and give it a whack, got it?" He could barely deal with his own spunk and temper, now he had to deal with it in a tiny, wedge-able package. A small black converse swung from the floor at his hand.

"One… Two…" He flicked up to fingers, and a relatively tall redheaded child came flying at him.

"Sorry, Dad. I'm out now." Reno sighed quietly and picked him up, rubbing at the unruly hair on his head.

"It's okay, Axel. Come on, before your late for school."

* * *

"Naminé, you be a good girl for Daddy at school, okay?" Rufus smoothed down Naminé's pale hair gently, giving the girl a small smile.

"I don't wanna go!" She sobbed, clutching at his shirt. He sighed and wiped at her nose with a tissue, trying to keep smiling.

"But, Naminé, school will be so much fun! I promise you'll like it." The girl shook her head frantically, flinging her long hair around her face.

"I'll miss you, Daddy! I don't wanna go!" Her cries picked up as she wiped her nose on his pant leg. Rufus resisted the urge to cringe, strapping her into her seat.

"You have to go, Nam. I'm sorry." He slid the door shut and thumped his head against it. He hated it when she cried.

* * *

"Now, Larxene, I want you to keep an eye on Demyx, okay? He's still little so it's your job to look out for him." Larxene grinned up at her Papa, teeth shining.

"I will, Papa! I promise! …Even if he is just a stinky _baby_." Vexen pulled his hair from Demyx's giggling grip, adjusting the babe on his hip. No child should be able to sneer so maliciously as Larxene could.

"Pa-pa, pa-pa! Papapapapapapa!" Vexen grinned as Demyx tried to gum his jaw in a make-shift kiss.

* * *

"Yazoo! Let go of Kadaj's hair now! Thank you." Sephiroth resumed tying Loz's shoe, until another high pitched screech broke his concentration.

"Kadaj! Let go of Yazoo's hair immediately! Or it's the no-no chair for both of you!" Both boys stopped their antics, sitting down in their spot. Sephiroth blew a strand of hair from his face and re-looped Loz's strings.

"Daj! Thooo! No-no!" Riku toddled over and smacked Yazoo on the top the head, making his teeth click together.

Sephiroth tried his hardest not to laugh a bit as Yazoo burst into tears, and Riku turned to 'punish' Kadaj too.

"No-no!" He yelled. Sephiroth lunged to pick up the toddler as Kadaj swatted back.

"Loz, would you please give your brother a kiss while I talk to Riku." The pudgy boy nodded and walked over to his brother, swooping the boy up in his arms. Kadaj followed after Sephiroth and Riku.

"Riku's bad. He hit Yazoo, and me. He's the one who should be in the no-no chair." Kadaj spoke smugly from behind Sephiroth. He opened his mouth to refute the statement, but was promptly smacked in the mouth by his youngest.

"No-no!"

* * *

"Dadda! I awake!" Squall shifted his coffee carefully as Sora climbed into his lap, wild hair drooping in his eyes.

"Are you ready for school, Sora?" The boy nodded around his thumb, snuggling into Squall's shirt.

"Yesh. You go byebye, I go school." Sora nodded happily, gnawing at his knuckle.

"We'd better get you dressed then." Sora squirmed off his dadda's lap, running toward his bedroom again. Squall swooped down and grabbed his favorite yellow crocs, and a pair of jeans from the table.

"Keybey! Keybey shirt!" Squall sighed, wondering why exactly Sora was so fixated on that red shirt with the crown on it.

Not to mention why he called it his 'Keybey' whatever that meant.

* * *

"Mom! Mom! Moooom, Zack won't stop bouncing!"

Tifa groaned as she sorted through the laundry basket to find clothes, straightening and walking back into the living room, where her triplets sat in their underwear and socks. Except for Zack, who was jumping on the couch. Tseng stood in the hallway, pointing an accusing finger at his brother.

"Zack, stop bouncing. Tseng, where's Vincent?" The boy shrugged, reaching for his clothes. Tifa handed him his set, tossing Zack his own, looking around for the other boy.

"Boo!" Vincent leaped from the shoe closet, face twisted into a growl.

"Vincent, you scared Momma. Now, come here so I can put on your clothes." He lifted his arms obediently in the air. She pulled the shirt over his head, pausing half-way to turn to Zack and Tseng.

"Tseng, let Momma help you with your zipper, you might zip up your piddle-poddle. Zacky, your shirt is on backwards, sweetie."

"Mom, can Chaos come with me." Vincent's voice was muffle by his shirt, and Tifa quickly pulled it down. She bit her lip at the mention of Vincent's imaginary friend, but nodded.

"I suppose so, yes." Five minutes till they had to leave, and each kid was half dressed already.

Except Zack's shirt was still backwards, and he was bouncing again, Tseng was screaming because his piddle-poddle was stuck in the zipper, and Vincent was whispering in the closet to Chaos.

* * *

Cloud tossed Roxas up into the air, catching him swiftly and blowing a raspberry on his freshly washed tummy. Roxas giggled, but pouted immediately.

"Dad, I'ma big boy now. You can't do baby things with me, anymore." Cloud felt a slight tug on his tear ducts as his only baby boy told him this, glancing over his shoulder at his big boy bedroom, where his big boy clothes waited, so he could go to his big boy school.

"Oh really?" He swung the boy upside and grabbed him by the waist and knees, swinging him back and forth as he walked.

Roxas giggled and his cheeks flushed, squealing loudly through his loud laughter. When Cloud swung him back upright and cradled his boy to his chest, Roxas kissed his cheek.

"I'll still be your little boy, though, Dad."

Cloud really did cry then.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One:**

"I'm afraid he'll be a bit of a problem for you... he has a bit of a- a brash personality." Sephiroth shifted the thin, wriggling wrist in his grip and jerked Riku up higher on his hip. Kadaj turned around and grabbed Loz's pants, using them to help pull himself away from his Father's grip.

" I'll be sure to keep an eye on him, but I'm sure he'll be fine. He can help me with the other kids, right Riku?" The woman smiled at the little silver haired boy twisting Sephiroth's long hair around his hand, then turned back to take his backpack from Yazoo.

"Here you go, Miss G." The brunette smiled at the boy, who looked up at her from his little pointed nose.

"Daaaad!" Sephiroth started as Kadaj yanked away from him at the same time Loz yelled, and turned to see the boy's pants around his ankles, Kadaj giggling behind his sheepishness.

**----------------**

"Good morning! I am Ms. Kairi."

"Good morning, Ms. Kairi. I'm Sephiroth, and this is my son Loz."

The petite woman glanced at the tall, disheveled man, with a young boy on each hip, then down to the chubby boy with reddened eyes and smiled sadly.

"Welcome to Kindergarten, Loz! Come on in and pick a chair, any color you want."

**----------------**

"Hello?" Sephiroth blew his hair from his face, wincing as Yazoo flicked it back again.

A short man came stumbling from a closet, carrying a stack of carpet squares. He set them down roughly in the corner and adjusted his button up.

"Oh! Hello there, I'm Mr. Zexion." He shook Sephiroth's hand, then extended one out toward Yazoo. The petite boy shied away, squirming into his father's shoulder and accidentally kicking his brother. Kadaj eyed the teacher wearily, pointing a finger at Yazoo.

"That's my brother." The man glanced over at the other twin with a small smile and nodded. The little finger swung in the teacher's direction, straight as an arrow.

"Yes he is! You must be Kadaj, then?" The little boy smiled sweetly, tiny teeth glinting under the lights.

"Don't touch him. He's **my **brother." Sephiroth groaned inwardly at the taken aback look on the teacher's face.

He had a feeling that the school would be ruins by the time he got back.

* * *

"Hi! I'm Axel." The blond boy flinched away from the boy invading his personal bubble and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Daddy says not to talk to strangers." He turned away from the strange boy, assuming that would be the end of the talk.

"'M not a stranger, I'm Axel. We're gonna be best friends." Roxas huffed, turning back toward Axel and putting his hands on his hips.

"No, we're not!"

"Yes huh."

"Nuh uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Ha! See you said yes, which means we are! Come on, best friend!"

* * *

"Noooooooo! Papa! Papa papa papa!" Vexen bit his lip as the young woman rocked his screaming baby, he refused to call him a toddler yet; and tried to ignore the screaming.

"Demyx, Papa will be back later. You stay with nice Miss G, and I'll come get you in a little bit."

"Paaaaapaaa- ah!" Vexen groaned deeplyl, half with relieved, half exasperated, as his little boy stopped crying and became entranced as the teacher pulled out a stuffed penguin and wave before him. She made a little penguin dance across Demyx's stomach, then hop up on her head.

'What?! Mumble! Mumble, where are you?" As Demyx began giggling wildly, Vexen took as his cue to leave.

* * *

"Bye bye, Dadda! You go home, I stay here." Squall smiled sadly as Sora beamed, nodding his head assuredly. He allowed himself one last little wave before he tore himself away from the door, bumbling down the brightly colored hallway.

He spotted a young blonde man standing infront of one of the preschool classes, trying to peer past the thin, colorful paper covering the window. He glanced up and blushed brightly, clearing his throat.

"First time leaving them?" The brunette offered a sympathetic smile as the other nodded.

"Yeah. You? Oh, uh, I'm Cloud Strife." He offered a hand that Squall quickly took, glad to have found someone in his position so quickly.

"Squall Leonhart. I've only left Sora with his uncles before. He just told be go home." Squall neglected to mention that Sora was asleep when Zell and Irvine babysat, and he only ran to the nearest grocery store for toilet paper and milk.

"Roxas barely said goodbye to me, I definitely understand." Both men laughed, though it was uneasy and pathetic at best.

* * *

"Now, Vincent, I have to ask you leave Chaos in the car."

"No! I will not! I need him."

"You do not need him, Vincent! He's just an imaginary friend!"

"He's MY friend, and I'M taking him with ME!"

"Hey, Bossy! It's okay if Chaos comes, he don't hurt nobody." Zack leaned over the arm of his booster seat and patted Vincent comfortingly on the shoulder. The other boy sniffed and squeezed Chaos' 'hand' in his tighter.

"That's doesn't hurt anybody, Zack. And Tseng, leave your brother alone. I'm sure after a few days he'll make new friends." Tifa adjusted the rearview mirror, giving her middle child a stern look.

"Fine. But if you're gonna talk to him, don't do it around me!" There was a short silence, in which Zack glanced between his brothers. Sensing that Vincent would make no rebuttal, he did it for him, pursing his lips and eyes glinting.

Tseng screeched as the spit went flying into his hair.

* * *

Rufus helped Naminé out of the car, kneeling down to adjust the bottom of her dress, and fixing the bows on her socks. She smiled nervously up at him, smoothing her bangs back under her headband.

"And you remember Daddy's phone number, right?" Rufus patted Naminé's hand gently as she recited it, adding in his work number as well.

"Good girl. You have a good day at school, alright pumpkin?"

They stepped inside the building, and Naminé immediately started sniffling.

"I don't wanna gooo!" Thick, heavy tears built up in her eyes, spilling over pale lashes, and Rufus' eyes widened, staring down at his sad little princess.

This was his hell.


End file.
